"Feminism"/"Feminist" in many societies has sadly grown to become a bad word, I find myself and others disassociating themselves with it. Have you ever started a sentence with; "I'm not a Feminist, but...."?.
Last year, in the early days of She Flies, someone published an article that I wrote about Women in Extreme Sports, they shared the link on a Facebook Group and whilst the positive comments of interest, support, agreement came in - there was one particular comment that ruffled my feathers;
"...this is just another case of Toxic Feminism"
I wasn't angry, I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I'd been called out as 'one of those Women'. As I silently watched, a friend of mine and Pro Kiteboard Coach Zac Andrews was one of the first to respond. He laid into the messenger, told him he'd completely missed the point of the article. I stayed silent, reading the battle as it ended with the guy reasoning with Zac.
It made me realise 3 things:
"Toxic Feminism" means "Toxic Equality for Men & Women". It therefore cannot be a statement of truth.
Feminism is not and should not be associated to a women's thoughts; it's associated to both society and an inner perception of a human being, every human being.
Zac - responding as a feminist - was being treated with respect and I hate to admit it but I'm convinced it is because he is a male version of a human. My previous shame in being a 'feminist' is wholly because of the seemed respect I loose when I become one, and I, personally, am weak when I'm not respected.
I've never shared that story, and I don't want to labour it because there are so many things wrong with it.
It leads me to remind myself that today is about Women who need the step up to become Queens, Queens who will help those Women step up and for a world to recognise our strengths, our differences and our equality.
Women in Extreme Sports need all of this, to be given a place at the table.
I woke up this morning with a fire in my belly, a physical response to my emotional self. I felt strong and empowered, for no reason other than the label that we've given today.
International Women's Day to me, means a lot of things. It means respect. It means pride. It means honesty and it means appreciation for Women that are on fire and deserve to be pushed above the crowd, into the limelight to show the world that it's time to wake up, see them, know them, follow them and tell them they are changing the inner perceptions that may still need to be changed.
For She Flies, it isn't about blaming, looking back or being angry at what history has made, it is about bringing the Women up, so that when the world opens the door, that Woman is standing behind it, ready to go.
So here's to my Women, my inspirations and who I want to bring up today;
Because at 60 years my senior, she makes me snort and giggle until my tummy hurts every time we talk. She helps me (no, makes me) see the simplicity of life in my over ambitious world and she teaches me that the answer to many problems, is gin.
Because in 2018 she surfed a 68ft wave, since recorded as the biggest wave a woman has ever surfed, and in doing that she showed me that Women Fly too.
Because, at 4 years old, she expresses herself better than any Woman I know. She dances at every moment she possibly could; when everyone and no one is watching, she closes her eyes and does it for the feeling not the perception. I'm learning from her every day.